High School Is Coming… and So Are the Battles

Why We’re Starting the Conversation Sooner Than I Thought

A year and a half. That’s how long we have before my son starts high school.
And yet… we’re already butting heads over where he’s going to go.

I thought we had time. I thought these conversations would come later. But here we are—debating school options, boundaries, bus routes, friend groups, and what really “matters” in a high school. Spoiler alert: we don’t always agree.

He has his ideas. I have mine.
He wants freedom. I want security.
He’s focused on where his friends are going. I’m looking at the bigger picture: support systems, academic pressure, mental health resources, structure.

It’s not always easy to meet in the middle.

But I’ve realized something important: starting the conversation early gives us space to work through it without the panic of a looming deadline. It gives us time to visit schools, talk to other parents, and—maybe most importantly—listen to each other. Even when we don’t like what we hear.

Because this transition? It’s not just about picking a school. It’s about learning how to make big decisions together—and that’s a skill I want him to have for life.

If you’re a parent in the same boat, here’s what’s helping (so far):

• Start the talk early, even if they roll their eyes. It builds a habit of open dialogue.

• Ask what they care about, even if it’s just “which cafeteria has better pizza.” It counts.

• Visit schools together. Let them see for themselves, not just hear your opinion.

• Acknowledge the fear—yours and theirs. This is a big change for everyone.

• Remember it’s a process. You don’t have to decide everything in one conversation.

We’re still figuring it out. We still disagree. But at least we’re talking—and that’s a win I’ll take.

Tell me:
Have you and your teen started talking about high school yet?
Did you clash over what was important?
Drop your story in the comments—I’d love to hear how others are navigating this messy, complicated, growing-up stuff.