Why Teachers Misread ADHD Teens as “Defiant” — and How to Get Them to See the Real Behavior

If you’re raising an ADHD teen, you already know the pattern:

Your kid freezes, shuts down, gets overwhelmed, or forgets something…
And someone in the school system decides it’s defiance.

It’s one of the most frustrating parts of parenting a neurodivergent teen — not the behavior itself, but the constant need to translate it for adults who should know better. I’ve lived this, year after year. And the truth is: most ADHD “defiance” is not defiance at all. It’s a nervous system under pressure.

Here’s why teachers misread ADHD behavior so often — and what you can do to help them see what’s actually going on.