Dear Other Moms: You’re Not Failing, It’s Just Hard
Let me say it louder for the moms in the back, the moms in the trenches, the moms crying quietly in the bathroom behind a locked door — You’re not failing. It’s just hard.
No one talks enough about the grind of motherhood. Not the Instagrammed highlight reel, not the school-dropoff small talk, but the real, raw, relentless part of it. The part where you’re trying to get dinner on the table while your teen slams a door and your brain is still processing the meltdown that happened before 8 a.m. The part where you're expected to stay calm, patient, and organized when you're actually just barely hanging on.
Raising a child — especially one with ADHD or anxiety — is not like following a manual. There is no quick fix. No one-size-fits-all solution. Some days are pure survival. Some days you feel like you’ve got this, and then BAM — back to square one. And somehow, you still wake up and do it again. That’s not failure. That’s grit.
We are constantly comparing ourselves to some invisible standard of the “perfect mom” — the one who bakes, never yells, has a spotless house, a thriving career, and still manages to make Pinterest-worthy lunches. Let’s be real. That mom doesn’t exist. And if she does, she probably has a nanny, a therapist, and a cleaning crew (bless her).
You, with your messy bun, reheated coffee, and mental to-do list that’s 12 tabs too long? You’re enough.
You’re doing holy work — the kind that doesn’t always look pretty. The kind that involves repeating the same directions ten times. The kind that includes fighting for accommodations, managing meltdowns, managing your own emotions, and loving fiercely through it all.
If today felt like too much — if you cried, or yelled, or forgot something — you’re still a good mom.
And if no one told you lately: I see you. I get it. You’re not broken. Your kid isn’t broken. Life is just hard sometimes — especially when you’re carrying the weight of it all.
So here’s your permission slip: Let go of the guilt. Eat the takeout. Leave the laundry. Take the nap. You’re not failing.
You’re mothering through the storm, and that, my friend, takes more strength than most people will ever understand.
With you always,
Another Mom in the Mess
Share your story in the comments — because the more we talk about the hard stuff, the less alone we feel.